In recent news, culture has been buzzing with conversations about relationships—especially in the wake of Taylor Swift’s engagement to Travis Kelce. Amid the noise, Charlie Kirk’s reminder of Ephesians 5:22 stands out: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord.” For many, such words sound outdated, oppressive, or even offensive. Yet, if we step back and consider both the wisdom of God and the observations of thoughtful secular writers, we find that this command is not arbitrary. It is rooted in God’s design as Creator and resonates deeply with the reality of how men and women thrive in relationships.
God the Creator Knows Best
The most fundamental truth is this: God is the Creator of all. He made man and woman, and He knows perfectly what will lead to their flourishing (Exodus 4:11). Genesis reminds us that God created man in His image, male and female He created them. In doing so, He designed men and women with distinct but complementary roles. To deny those roles is to deny the wisdom of the Creator.
Scripture makes clear that submission is not about inferiority. Christ Himself submitted to the will of the Father, though He is equal in divinity. Likewise, a wife’s submission is not about weakness but about reflecting God’s design. It is an act of trust—first in God, then in her husband’s leadership under God. The opposite—constant conflict over authority—leads to frustration, division, and dissatisfaction.
God, who made the female heart, knows what fulfills it. His command is not a burden but a gift of order, peace, and joy.
The Deep Feminine Urge: Secular Voices Agree
Interestingly, even outside the church, secular authors have recognized this truth. David Deida, in The Way of the Superior Man, points out that all women have a deep feminine urge: the longing to “sink within their Feminine” and allow a man to lead. He describes how women, even the most capable and independent, desire the relief of letting go—of being cherished, protected, and guided by masculine strength.
This does not mean women cannot lead in workplaces or succeed in various spheres of life. Rather, it means that at the core of their being, many find rest and fulfillment when they do not have to carry the burden of leadership in their most intimate relationships. This echoes God’s Word, which has declared from the beginning that man is called to lead and woman is called to be his helper.
The very language Deida uses—“sink within the Feminine”—points to something larger than biology or psychology. It points to design. The Creator has etched into the feminine heart the desire to be led in love.
Robert Glover and the Modern Dilemma
Dr. Robert Glover, in his book No More Mr. Nice Guy, takes this further by diagnosing a common relational problem: men who abdicate leadership. Glover notes that women in such relationships often become the decision-makers, planners, and initiators. At first, some men may think this relieves pressure, but the opposite occurs.
Why? Because women, when forced into constant leadership, often lose attraction to their husbands. Glover bluntly points out that many men wonder why their wives no longer desire intimacy. The answer is simple: she does not feel like she can rest in her femininity. She feels burdened, not cherished. She feels like the leader, not the beloved.
Here, again, secular observation confirms biblical truth. Ephesians 5 commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. That is sacrificial leadership—leadership that guides, protects, and nurtures. When men fail to embrace this, relationships suffer.
Logic and Design: Why Submission Works
When we step back, the logic is plain. If God is Creator, then His design is not arbitrary but essential. Just as a car runs best when used according to its design, so relationships thrive when men and women live according to their created order.
When a husband leads in love, a wife finds freedom in submission. She does not need to carry the constant weight of direction. Instead, she can flourish in her gifts, secure in the knowledge that her husband bears responsibility before God. This is not about domination but about order and harmony.
And when a wife submits, she affirms the leadership of her husband and allows the relationship to function as God intended—mirroring Christ and the church. The result is joy, intimacy, and a bond that reflects the glory of God.
Beyond Human Relationships: God as Master
Yet this principle stretches beyond marriage. Submission and leadership are not only about husbands and wives; they are about all of creation and the Creator. Ultimately, we are all called to submit to God. He is not only the Author of relationships; He is the Master of the universe.
If secular thinkers like Deida and Glover can, through observation, point to truths that align with God’s Word, how much more should we acknowledge the One who is the source of all truth? Every longing in the feminine heart for rest in masculine leadership is a whisper pointing upward—to the church’s longing for Christ, the Bridegroom. Every man’s call to lead points to the greater reality of Christ’s sacrificial leadership of His people.
Thus, when a wife submits to her husband, she reflects the church submitting to Christ. When a husband leads in love, he reflects Christ’s headship over His bride. And when both embrace these roles, the relationship becomes a living testimony of God’s wisdom and glory.
Conclusion: To God Be the Glory
The conversation sparked by Charlie Kirk’s quotation of Ephesians 5:22 is not about outdated customs or patriarchal oppression. It is about aligning with God’s eternal design.
God created women. He knows what fulfills them. Secular voices—even those far from Christian belief—acknowledge that women long to rest in their femininity and men must step into strong, sacrificial leadership. Glover exposes the pitfalls when men abdicate this role. Deida articulates the longing women feel to let go. And Scripture declares it plainly: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord.”
The logical conclusion is unavoidable: God, as Creator, knows best. He is not only the Master of marriage but the Master of all creation. He is worthy of trust, submission, and worship. Therefore, let us not rebel against His design but embrace it. For in doing so, we not only find relational harmony but also reflect the glory of the One who made us.
To Him alone belongs all praise, honor, and glory.
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