In searching for a future wife, one of the most precious qualities I’ve come to value is flexibility—a gracious spirit that walks with others through their mess, struggles, and growth without contempt. In our age of judgmental comparison, self-righteous virtue signaling, and harsh online “discernment,” this trait is rare. But the Bible gives us shining examples of women who embraced the hard road of grace rather than the easy route of superiority. Chief among them is Mary Magdalene.
Mary’s story is a beacon of hope for every redeemed sinner—and a model of the kind of woman I long to walk beside in marriage. A woman who knows she needed grace, and so extends it to others. A woman who follows Jesus with quiet steadfastness, not self-exaltation. A woman who doesn’t pretend to have it all together but clings to the One who does.
Let’s explore what her life teaches us about flexible, humble, gospel-shaped womanhood—and why this matters so deeply for a man seeking a godly wife.
Mary Knew She Was a Sinner, Not a Savior
The first thing we learn about Mary Magdalene is that she was delivered from demonic oppression: “From whom seven demons had gone out” (Luke 8:2). That’s not just background info—that’s transformation. Mary didn’t come to Jesus with a résumé. She came in need. And Jesus freed her.
This is the foundation of flexibility: a deep awareness of one’s own need for mercy.
Mary didn’t walk around acting spiritually superior. She didn’t try to control others or elevate herself. Instead, she became a quiet, faithful follower—because she knew the weight of her past and the depth of her Savior’s grace.
Flexible Character Trait: She didn’t hold others to standards she herself couldn’t meet. She knew the human heart needed patience, not condemnation.
In a godly woman, I long to see that same humility—a refusal to be preachy or performative. The kind of woman who walks with people through their flaws, not around them. Who believes in progress, not perfection. Who knows we are all sinners in process, saved by the same grace.
Mary Didn’t Virtue Signal—She Served Quietly
Mary Magdalene was one of several women who followed Jesus and “provided for them out of their means” (Luke 8:3). She didn’t use her service to gain power or platform. She gave. She followed. She served in silence.
She didn’t make her discipleship about herself.
There’s no record of Mary preaching or correcting others in the Gospels. Not because she was timid, but because she was humble. She let her love and actions speak. She wasn’t posing for applause. She wasn’t curating a spiritual image.
Flexible Character Trait: She wasn’t focused on how she appeared—she was focused on being present, faithful, and helpful.
That’s the kind of woman whose faith has roots. She doesn’t need to be the center of attention. She has no interest in appearing more “spiritual” than others. She follows Jesus quietly, which is often the loudest testimony of all.
Mary Stayed Through the Cross—When Others Ran
In John 19:25, while others fled in fear, “standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.” This was no casual act. Public association with Jesus at the moment of His execution was dangerous. But Mary didn’t flinch.
Flexible Character Trait: She wasn’t rigid or self-protective. Her loyalty adapted to the cost of love. She stayed when it was painful.
This is true spiritual maturity—she didn’t just follow Jesus in the good times. She endured with Him through the suffering. And not by grandstanding or demanding recognition—but by showing up.
In a godly wife, this kind of flexibility is golden. Life is not predictable. Marriage involves sorrow, uncertainty, and seasons of strain. I long to marry a woman like Mary—who can adapt, endure, and love even when the path is dark and costly.
Mary Waited in Grief and Was Rewarded With Joy
Mary didn’t just stay through the crucifixion—she went early to the tomb, expecting only to mourn (John 20:1). Her love wasn’t transactional. She didn’t expect resurrection. She simply wanted to be near the One she loved.
And because of this faithfulness, she became the first witness of the risen Christ.
Jesus said to her, “Mary.” And in one word, He restored her hope.
Flexible Character Trait: She was open to joy, even when she came expecting sorrow. Her heart stayed soft and willing to receive.
Some people live with walls up, defenses raised, and expectations guarded. But Mary lived with an open heart—even when it meant pain. She was flexible in her emotional world. She mourned. She hoped. She clung to Christ.
That kind of heart makes a woman safe to love—because she doesn’t punish you for not being perfect. She mourns with those who mourn and rejoices with those who rejoice.
Mary Didn’t Shame Others—She Shared the Good News
Jesus told her, “Go to my brothers and say to them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’” (John 20:17). And she did. She told the disciples, “I have seen the Lord.”
Notice what she didn’t say:
- “You guys should’ve stayed like I did.”
- “I was the only one who kept the faith.”
- “Maybe next time you won’t run.”
No pride. No self-righteousness. Just testimony.
Flexible Character Trait: She didn’t hold others’ failures against them. She simply shared the joy she found.
A godly woman isn’t one who condemns or condescends. She doesn’t use her spiritual milestones as ammunition against others. She lets the grace she’s received flow freely to others.
The Kind of Woman I’m Asking God For
Mary Magdalene shows us what it looks like to be deeply changed by Jesus—and to carry that change with humility and flexibility.
Here’s what I’m praying for in a future wife:
- She knows her need for grace – and gives it freely.
- She serves quietly – not to be seen but to bless.
- She endures suffering with loyalty – and doesn’t panic in pain.
- She keeps her heart open – even in the face of grief.
- She doesn’t shame others – but shares truth with compassion.
This is the kind of flexibility that matters most—not physical spontaneity or a “go with the flow” vibe. But a spiritual and emotional maturity that can bend without breaking, serve without seeking credit, and love without needing control.
Mary Magdalene wasn’t flashy. She was faithful.
And that is the kind of godly woman I long to marry.
“Her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much.” — Luke 7:47
Reformed Faith Insights 