Vulnerability is one of the hardest things to embrace in life. The world often tells us that strength means independence, self-sufficiency, and never letting people see our weaknesses. But as followers of Christ, we are called to something greater—a life of honesty, humility, and deep connection with God and others.
For many of us, opening up about our struggles, failures, or doubts can feel risky. What if someone judges us? What if they compare their struggles to ours, making us feel insignificant? What if they use our openness against us? These are real concerns, and yet, vulnerability is a crucial part of our spiritual growth and relationships within the church.
Let’s explore why vulnerability is essential, how to cultivate it wisely, and how to handle it when someone responds poorly to our openness.
The Biblical Call to Vulnerability
The Bible is filled with examples of people who were open about their struggles, pain, and weaknesses before God and others. Jesus Himself modeled vulnerability—He wept (John 11:35), expressed deep distress in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:38), and even cried out in anguish on the cross (Matthew 27:46). If Jesus, the Son of God, did not hide His emotions or burdens, why should we?
Paul also embraced his weaknesses, writing in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10:
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Vulnerability is not a sign of failure—it is a demonstration of trust in God. It allows us to rely on His strength rather than our own and to build relationships based on honesty and grace.
Why Vulnerability Matters in Christian Community
1. It Fosters Genuine Connection
Surface-level relationships may be comfortable, but they don’t bring true healing or spiritual growth. When we open up to others, we create space for authentic connection. James 5:16 tells us:
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
Healing and encouragement happen when we are honest about our struggles and allow others to come alongside us.
2. It Allows Others to Support Us in Prayer
When we keep our burdens hidden, we deny others the opportunity to intercede for us. Galatians 6:2 urges us:
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
Sharing our struggles allows our brothers and sisters in Christ to lift us up in prayer, offering the strength we need to endure trials.
3. It Reflects Christ’s Love and Grace
When we are vulnerable, we create a culture of openness and grace. If we pretend to be perfect, we unintentionally tell others that they need to do the same. But when we admit our shortcomings, we remind people of God’s grace. As Psalm 34:18 reassures us:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
God draws near to those who are hurting, and as His people, we should do the same for one another.
How to Be Vulnerable with Wisdom
Being vulnerable does not mean sharing everything with everyone. It requires discernment. Here are some practical ways to cultivate healthy vulnerability in your faith and relationships:
1. Start Small
You don’t have to share your deepest struggles with everyone at once. Begin by opening up to a trusted friend, mentor, or small group. Allow yourself to experience the freedom of being honest without fear.
2. Seek Out Godly Counsel
The elders of the church are there for a reason. We elect them for their wisdom, spiritual maturity, and ability to shepherd the congregation. If you are struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to them. Titus 1:7-9 describes elders as:
“…hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.”
Elders and church leaders are equipped to guide you through spiritual battles, offer biblical wisdom, and help you grow in faith.
3. Set Boundaries with Unsafe People
Unfortunately, not everyone will respond well to your vulnerability. Some people may judge, compare, or dismiss your struggles. If you encounter someone who:
- Guilt-trips you by making you feel like your struggles aren’t valid
- Constantly gives unsolicited advice instead of listening
- Uses your openness against you
…then it’s okay to set boundaries. Protect your heart, but don’t let one bad experience stop you from seeking authentic relationships.
A simple response to an unhelpful person could be:
- “I appreciate your perspective, but I was really hoping for someone to listen.”
- “I know you’ve had struggles too, but right now, I just need to share what I’m going through.”
- “I don’t think this conversation is helping me in the way I need right now.”
If a person continues to disregard your boundaries, it’s okay to limit how much you share with them in the future.
4. Trust God More Than Your Fear of Rejection
At the end of the day, vulnerability is an act of trust—not just in people, but in God. Even if someone misuses your openness, God sees your heart and will not let your pain go to waste. Psalm 56:8 reminds us:
“You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?”
God cares deeply about your struggles, and He honors the trust you place in Him and His people.
Final Encouragement
I want to leave you with this: You are not alone in your struggles. Whatever you are facing, no matter how small or overwhelming it seems, you are deeply valued by God. The church is meant to be a place of healing, grace, and support. While not every person will respond perfectly, there are godly men and women—elders, pastors, mentors—who are here to walk with you in your faith.
Vulnerability is not weakness. It is strength in Christ. It allows us to experience His love more fully and to build relationships that reflect His grace. Keep seeking, keep trusting, and keep leaning on the body of Christ. You are not meant to walk this journey alone.
If you’ve been hurt by someone misusing your openness, don’t let it close your heart. Instead, bring it to God, seek wisdom in who to trust, and continue pressing into His love. For when we are weak, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:10).
Reformed Faith Insights 